Out of Work---so therefore time to Blog

Evidently, I am not famous yet, because I have not blogged since March of '06---I have been wondering what the problem was. Of course I know, that to become a well known comedian, you must be on Myspace, and the new phenomenon, Facebook---and of course maintain your blog with fascinating banter every day. I have not been doing this, and therefore, I am not famous. So, here I am, back and ready to collect my fame. There is also the fact that the man fired me last week---they wanna call it laid off---but let's call a spade a spade. Thank goodness I don't have to work right now--I can just be married, play with my new dog--and blog.

More to come....

Love to all and be sure to check out MAX at Mo Pitkin's every Wed at 8pm-

And I think my life is hard......

Think about how Wolf Boy feels--If I couldn't get rid of my unwanted hair--this is probably what I would look like--I saw a documentary on this fuzz faced family last night--Sweetest family you would ever know----They just need to shave their faces---

Happy, I think it's Spring day--And Save The Date----Sunday June 11th---MAX! Comedy Festival in the park---Will keep ya posted----yeah--when I add another post in 2007---

Office Space

Okay--Seriously--Peter, from Office Space, said it best--"We were not meant to sit in an office and stare at a computer screen all day"--We need to run through fields in the afternoon, with birds singing around us---and sipping sweet beverages with lemon slices and running with cats----

This Jew does not look happy--

Today was my last day at a job I've had for three years---and all I got was the chance to Google this Jew Kitty---No card---no farewell-------

This is what it's all about......

This picture brings tears to my eyes----Seriously!


Come down to Mo Pitkins tonight ----these shows will also bring tears to your eyes-

It's Coming!

This is serious people!

and please check out two amazing --seriously off the hook shows this Wed. night at Mo Pitkins-----
MAX at 7:30pm--then move into the big room for Mixed Tape--It's gonna blow your mind!

'Tis The Season--

Anybody out there who knows me---and even if you are one of the unfortunate ones not to know me--it is Creme Egg time--I'll take 'em if ya got 'em---Thank you in advance--
I also wanna say that Bloggers have it tough--You pour your heart and soul into these posts--you rip out your guts and smear them all over the internet-sprinkled with some wit-and then ya wonder? Does anyone read them? Does anyone care?

Things I like today----The New Beth Orton Album
Things I don't like today----The fact that I watched "Dealing Dogs" on HBO last night and I will never be the same---One day, when I can afford something other than lint--I will have my own animal sanctuary--xoxo

Happy Valentine's Day

Hope you're all out there getting some Love today---at least I love ya----now scamper off and fetch me some chocolates---Have a beautiful day----and come down to Mo Pitkins tomorrow night---for MAX! 7:30pm---
Featuring these hilarious people--
Michelle Buteau-Matt Daly--Michelle Maclay--Todd Levin--Nick Cobb--Ben Chaney --and Al Del Bene--

And free eggs-

Emmett Otter's Jugband

See it---Live it--Love it--

I feel like this today--

What a cute little Jew-

His name is Jewie--I swear--

It's Over

Drive Through Liquor stores-C'mon!--It's perfect-you're cruisin' down the highway in your Coup---you're parched--ya figure you'll pull over to quench your, dry as sand paper, throat---ya pick up a bottle of Thunderbird--drive on out--guzzle up---then suddenly, the lights are growing dim--where are you--you're in a ditch--

Don't forget MAX tonight! 7:30 at Mo Pitkins-Free!

The Ledger

Oscars----Love it---
Gimme the mountain---


Oh--and come see MAX tomorrow at Mo Pitkins --7:30pm-No cover!

Bigfoot

I just read that there has been another Bigfoot sighting in Malaysia. What the hell is going on? Why is he always spotted in some far away land?--I mean, seriously-When we will he hit the big town?---When will he pack his little bag made of bark and hop on Amtrak-We need Foot! We need something. I think he just needs a friend. Look at him-So glum. But more importantly, where is Humanzee-(which I like to pronounce, like, Jumanji--such a fun film) Anyway--Humanzee is half chimp --half human--He once worked for a family where he did all the housework and helped out with day to day activities. So sweet, was the humanzee--But then the old coot started hitting on the wife and humanzee got the boot--Where did he go? Humanzee! Are you out there?

And now--Plug it in--Plug it in--
I will be at Smut Monday night at 8pm at Galapagos-
Don't forget the next installment of MAX-Hosted by me-and Matt McCarthy--Wed Feb 1st 7:30-
Also--Don't worry all my talented friends--I will be adding all your links soon--they'll be the same ones that everyone else already has--(You know who you all are)

Year of The Dog

It is here people. Finally, it is the year of the dog again. 1970! I'm sure there are other years that fall under the year of the dog, but you can go look those up. I see a lot of loyalty coming our way this year--a lot of loyalty.
This dog looks like a Max.

Tired of the rat race-

This is what happens to people who work day jobs and are not able to concentrate only on their career of choice---or when they are not able to fly off to Tuscany and eat grapes and sit at cafes and write in leather bound books, instead of a Blog-

Today

Today sucks. It's raining-There are no Holidays to look forward to--No cigarettes to be smoked to fend off the venom that is dripping out of my brain--There are too many plans to make-To many things to do--But other than all of that, I feel great-

I See How It Is-

My good friend, Carolyn remarked that it was unbelievable that I posted 4 times in 16 months---It's on, miss undiscovered superstar-Forget it fuckers, I'm going to post every second of every hour--I'm gonna make you sick- Seriously though, how does anyone have time to live these days, with the blog, website, myspace, space blogspot--I need peace---

Check out The Social Variety Show tonight! 7pm 10 bucks--(I know--can you believe it's 10 bucks?)
158 West 72nd St., 2nd Fl.
It will be hysterical-Featuring, Carolyn Castiglia, Katina Corrao, Matt McCarthy, Theron Steiner, Allen Warnock-me--and Hosted by Shawn Hollenbach ("He's so cool") Produced by Michelle Maclay

Love,
Mrs. Garrett

MAX

First I need to hide from the shame of not posting since October---Forgive me all ye serious Bloggers--Can I even be allowed back in the precious kingdom?----
But the real deal here is----I need to discuss the great success of the debut of my show MAX--Well, not only my show--I share the honor of this new comedy show, with the one and only Matt McCarthy--The room at Mo Pitkins was packed---so for those of you out there that say to yourselves, "hmm. what is MAX?"--Just check us out the first and third Wed of every month at Mo's-"It's the buzz"---it is-but I just like saying that word, buzz--
This post will be brief--Nobody needs a lengthy sermon right now and I actually have to get back to work, where nobody cares about MAX, or comedy, or cute penguins--I'm tired-This lifestyle is killin' me, but I wouldn't change a thing.
These performers were on MAX last night and they need to be addressed here---I love these guys-Baron Vaughn, Billy Wood, Shawn Hollenbach, Michael Muldoon, Katina Corrao, Allen Warnock and Carolyn Castiglia --and of course, Matt McCarthy
www.redrube.blog.com

Another Year Already-

Okay--Seriously--What is the point? My last entry was one year ago-I'm thinkin' maybe I should start this blog dribble up again--Afterall, Blog is the new Black--I am also going to dedicate this entry to my good friend, Carolyn Castiglia, who has been after me to start this shit up again since last November--Plus-She just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl--Adriana---Although, How can I really say she's beautiful, I mean I haven't seen the thing yet, it could look like this little creature I have posted---But so cute --that little creature--

Anyway--I'm going to make it a point to "Blog it Up"--again--because I hear that is the only way to make it in Comedy---I'm gonna make this one short, because I can, it's raining like ass, and I'm pretty sure I just broke another tooth shoving a leg of lamb down my gullet.

Check out some upcoming shows-
This Monday-Oct 17th--I'll be talking some SMUT-8pm
http://www.galapagosartspace.com/events.html

Wed. Oct 19th--Come to The Social 9pm
www.thesocial.tv

Thursday Oct 2oth-8pm
Check out "Coming Out"--The Tank Theatre--
www.mintyfreshcomedy.com


Love and Jews