I Love Old Things

I think I am obsessed with things that are old. I am always talking about how things used to be-- old times, old days, old New York. I'm getting old, could I be obsessed with myself as well? No, but I am becoming one of those people that is always telling you about how things used to be. Jesus, I'm not even 40, but I am pretty nostalgic. What the hell am I gonna be saying at 80? Just knock me over the head with a hammer then, please.
But lately, I have been a bit teary eyed about the demise of New York. Well, maybe I'm being dramatic, but there are sure some changes taking place that I am sure one day, we will barely be able to distinguish New York from any other mediocre city. Every few months, some other great piece of history dies. This week it was Yankee Stadium. Now, I don't want to hear all the droll about how the Yankees suck. Old Yankee Stadium is a piece of history and soon it will be demolished, like everything else. Sure, there will be a new one. It will be bigger, better, slick and fabulous. But I don't want that-I want old and haggard. Give me the grit of old New York. For god sakes, bust open a fire hydrant in the summer, so the kids can run through it. Paint some graffiti on a wall. Let some kids hang out on a stoop in the prime of their youth. Rent a room at the Plaza-oh sorry, there are no rooms left. What also has me on a tear this week is, I just heard about the new plan to kick everyone out of The Chelsea Hotel. Apparently it is being sold and they want to give all the artists and people who have lived there for 30 years and over, the boot. Of course they do. Oh but they are going capitalize on the fact that famous people have lived and died there, to get people to stay there for $500 a night. They'll probably make some fancy new pamphlet to give out to all these poor tourists that don't know what's what anyway. Meanwhile, why not just let the tourists know about the history as well as letting them know the artists still live there! Ugh-
Ok--let me settle down here. There will be more of old New York posts to come. Although, one question comes to mind whenever I spend my energy writing here----Does anyone read this anyway?

Time For New School Books

Yes--it's time--time for Fall----(well, almost) This is the time each year, when I decide to make a fresh start--get a new pair of boots, a new leather bound book, where I will begin my Austenesqe novel, written by gaslight. This is the time in the year where I wish I would have become a lawyer. Then I could put on my new cozy sweater, smart looking jeans and waltz right into that cute little entrance by the park, that leads to the nyu law dept. I could have been somebody---but instead I'm just a bum dreaming about the first day of school again.

I encourage you all to make this Fall different----

This could happen to anyone-

You always look at homeless people and wonder --how did it actually come to this. How did things get so bad, that there is no other option than this. Someone will always be able to help, right? But sometimes, there is nothing that can be done and years of mistakes and never saving for a rainy day can lead to this. I know a couple of people who are on the verge of this and I can't help them. I don't think it will come to this actual form of hell, but I see how quickly it can become a possibility. So, those people that once dined by the beaches of St. Maarten, had cozy dinners in warm apartments, with many laughs and deep conversations --who gave me anything and everything I wanted, could actually be two steps away from being homeless. God bless them. xo

Goodnight George

Another good one dies----Man, pretty soon, who's gonna be left? xo

It's the little things in life-

These are the things that make me smile-or touch my heart when I feel like giving up and crawling in a ditch-
Take this pig, for instance--little guy didn't want to walk through mud-but look at 'em go now in his little wellies---He's not scared-
Sometimes, ya gotta just get up, throw on your wellies and punch life right in the face-

I love this pig-

I Dig Old New York

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wNYeip0y-E

Big Weekend

Ahh, just me and my husband, Jasper out for a stroll-The city is beaming this weekend, and we, of course, can't even walk two feet, without having to stop for a photo.

Toodles-

Two steps away from being a lady of the night-

That's all I have to say

This is how I feel about my youth-

"Time it was and what a time it was it was, A time of innocence a time of confidences. Long ago it must be, I have a photograph Preserve your memories, they're all that's left you"

-Simon and Garfunkel

I'm Basically 40

-and I wish I looked as cute as this old French poster-but instead I'm home with toothpaste on my face.

Save the date---Come see my One woman show (a work in progress sorta) Friday May 16th -7pm 300 West 43rd St. at The Roy Arias Theatre $10----Come hear me blabber on about having miscarriages------- with a smile-Having no money--and being a married invisible woman-

Watching a documentary right now about French women in film---they are all gorgeous-Also, I realized, it doesn't matter what foreign actors say in films, they might even be a mediocre actor, but they seem amazing, because of the accents. Americans-you can read us like a book--if we suck-it's pretty damn obvious.

This week I am pissed off about ----American Idol-----You know what you've done-

I used to live here

This is Horatio St. I grew up on this block. I sold Lemonade on this block--yeah, for 25 cents. (No, it wasn't the forties) I walked to school from this block. I threw pomegranates out a window on this block. I carried a Christmas Tree home with my father on this block. I wore my first pair of high heels on this block. I listened to music blaring out of boom boxes on this block. I played with some of my best friends in the world on this block. This was my block. I can't afford to live on this block now. I can barely afford these cute shoes in this arsty picture-of this block. I can't afford to live in New York City. I will be moving to Rhode Island in the Fall. I would like to come back one day and raise my kids on this block. xo

Family I barely know---but should

This is my cousin, Jamie Rubin. This Rubin is doing alright--But I have not seen him since my Grandmother's unveiling(that's like jewspeak for a second funeral, sorta) He seemed very funny and chain smoked, so I totally understood how we were related. I feel like I should know him more-Maybe I could have gone to the White House, when he worked with Madeleine Albright and a guy named Clinton. Then he married the fascinating and well accomplished, Christiane Amanpour. Now, I should really know her. We should be having tea on the top of a castle in Salzburg, and she should be telling me about her latest trek to Nepal. Sadly, I have not met her and she is now my cousin too! The fact is, they are my family and I don't even know them. The biggest memory I have of Jamie is when he was a hippie back in the late 70's/early 80's and he used to come over to hang out with my parents and talk about Dead shows----and he would always somehow make the dog pee on the floor. I'm sure not many people on CNN know that. Anyway--that's it---Just feel I should know people in my family more than I do. Because you always learn more about yourself when you get to know other characters and personalities in your family tree. Jamie and I could have the same slight case of ocd and we wouldn't even know it! Goodnight John Boy.

And the winner is.....

I don't care--this day has always been like Christmas to me---since I can remember, circa age three, I have been watching this monstrosity and loving every minute of it. Still dreaming, to this day, of possibly one day---well, winning--Or at least attending. So, today I bunker in, soothing face mask on, snacks in the cabinets -ready to see who wins----even though we all know the odd name we will hear the most tonight is Juno--Which of course, sweet as punch, witty as the winters are bleak, but I mean-------is it really the best pic? Although give me 18 Junos as opposed to one big production Ghandhi or The English Patient anyday--

Thank you and goodnight--you all look stunning
xo

Highschool Days

This picture takes me right back. Classic--just found this online, it was taken outside my Highschool or Junior Highschool-(they were right next to eachother)---circa --well circa the 80's. This picture looks like the cover of a New Edition album---but I knew these guys--the best----life was simple then--------now I feel old again, get me my cane, son.

I Lost Two Babies This Month

--A real one------and my comedy show, Max----
and this is all to make me stronger--or some bullshit like that-----or so "they" say

xo

Man, that just 'aint right-

xo

I'm Not There

Just saw the new movie, I'm Not There"-last night. I can tell it's going to be one of those movies I feel the need to see again in the theatre. Being a long time huge Dylan fan, I was a little skeptical at first, about how this film was going to play out. Different people playing him, Cate Blanchett? What? (Meanwhile, she was pretty much the best Bob in the film) But after seeing it, it was like, oh of course-How else could it be portrayed? He's such a famous and intricate character, what one actor could really portray all of him anyway-and why would we want just another straightforward biography----so Thank you Todd Haynes for getting the job done-I enjoyed it-and now I feel like only listening to Bob Dylan music- Pretty funny, when I think back to being about five years old, and my mother (also a huge Dylan fan) had just purchased Blood on The Tracks-I was a little scared of Bob back then, especially when she would blare Idiot Wind at volume 10-and I would slam my door--it only took about 10 or 12 years for me to appreciate the meaning of that song. And then I developed a deep love for exactly what I was afraid of as a little kid-Thanks Mom-and Bob---

Givin' Up Food For Funk

Just waking up ---Saturday morning--I got my decaf in hand-which is ever so daring I know---But I am givin' up food for funk-I don't need a bagel--I need to feel the funky funk---I also want to meet this guy on this album cover--I gotta tell him-- Dave--it's the best worst album cover I have ever seen-Zip Zap Rap!

The boys had a great show at The Back Room last night--was happy to be a part of the hilarity--AND the amazing Jim Gaffigan stopped by for a set--so funny---and the best Bacon material out of anyone-

Have a nice weekend--and please do yourself a favor and check out my show, MAX, at Ochi's lounge at Comix on November 28th-

Love Rube

I Love Fall--

I also love this album---and basically Bob looks like he's dressed for fall---you can almost see the leaves falling around his face--you can almost smell the woods--I don't know-it looks like a fall album---I just took my dog for a walk and it smelled so good and fall like out there, that I had to make note of it-Do yourself a favor guys--get a dog--it's a life changing experience-it's like the smell of Fall year round---and you can never sleep in again-

Sometimes It's Hard-

My life, that is, but I know, I'm not special. Why should I gripe about my life, when everybody's got somethin' to write home about. I guess I just wish it was as simple as this picture. I think we had a copy of it in my parents house, when I was growing up. I think I wanted to live this lifestyle, whatever that was. I mean, I think this lady is about to drink Absinthe. So that might have been weird for a kid--But it does look exotic--doesn't it?
So, now it's November---I feel like my favorite time of year is slipping by me---I'm gonna miss the foliage, just simply due to my own melancholy--Halloween is already gone---and now I gotta quickly make a new hand turkey drawing, because Thanksgiving is 2 weeks away---and then my birthday comes-where I will be 37---Who ever dreams of being 37? It's an odd age----you're not 35--which seems like a milestone--and you're not 40 (thank god)-you're just sittin' there---37--boring--(I secretly love 37, because it has my favorite number in it, which is 7)
Anyway---just feeling down----I look like the phantom, I've probably got dog shit on my heels, and I gotta host a show tonight, that nobody ever comes to, even though everyone says how great it is--but where are they then? So, this is what ya get----ya go to seek out a light blog from a comedian, and ya get Sylvia Plath---Love ya